Do You Know Your Girlfriend?
by Kitty Malfoy
Summary: Six couples are here to compete for the 'Best Couple'. The results may shock you, make you angry, or even make you cry.... **CHAPTER 1 UP**
1. Enter the Couples

Everything HP related belongs to J.K! Not me. Though anything not copyrighted to J.K. is MINE! No touchy!  
  
Do You Know Your Girlfriend?  
  
Announcer Guy: Hello and welcome to 'Do You Know Your Girlfriend'. Today six young couples will compete for the 'Best Couple'. We will go through 3 entirely different rounds to see how well you know your girlfriend. Let's meet our daring young contestants..  
  
Announcer Guy: First off we have Harry Potter, and Cho Chang.  
  
**Cho and Harry walk in hand in hand, and both are bright red.**  
  
Announcer Guy: Yea, take a seat there.thank you. Next we have Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger!  
  
**Ron is bright red as usually and is whispering frantically to Hermione as they enter**  
  
Ron: I can't believe I let you talk me into this, I-  
  
Hermione: Ronald Weasley you are here because we are by far the best couple, and we are going to win!  
  
Ron: But 'Mione..  
  
Hermione: Don't 'But 'Mione' me! Oh bloody hell! Stop whispering so, you're making a bloody spectacle of yourself!"  
  
Announcer Guy: **cuts in** And let me remind all of you in the audience, each of the contestants is equipped with a tiny microphone so everyone can hear them.  
  
**Hermione shuffles quickly to her seat-almost as red as Ron- and begins to subtly search for the 'tiny microphone'**  
  
Announcer Guy: Right then, moving on. Our next couples have asked to be introduced together. Please welcome: Fred Weasley and Angelina Johnson, and George Weasley and Katie Bell.  
  
**The crowd erupts into thunderous applause. The twins and their dates do a comical imitation of Broadway stars and bowed dramatically at the edge of the set before taking their seats.**  
  
Announcer Guy: Wow! A crowd favorite....favorites..THE crowd's favorite.. The crowd's favorites couple...couples...WHATEVER! THEY'RE popular. Next couple. Draco Malfoy and........................GINNY WEASLEY!"  
  
**The announcer does a double take**  
  
Announcer Guy: Weasley...Weasley...where have I heard that name before..hey! There's FOUR Weasleys on the show! Is that allowed?!"  
  
**Announcer walks off-stage and begins to argue with the producer. Meanwhile Ginny and Draco walk onto the stage. Ginny's hair is mussed, and her lipstick is smeared. Ron jumped up.**  
  
Ron: Is that her lipstick? Your sick son of a----!  
  
**Launches himself at Draco, and tackles him onto the ground. Ginny slaps her forehead and sits next to Hermione, and the two shake their heads in disbelief. The Announcer Guy walks back onstage and completely oblivious to the fight going on right behind him called out the last and final couple.  
  
Announcer Guy: And now I will call out the last and final couple: Neville Longbottom and Lavender Brown!  
  
**Harry leans over and whispers to Fred **  
  
Harry: Out of all of us you'd think they'd be the ones who are blushing the most..  
  
Fred: Go figure..  
  
**George leans back and talks to the boys from behind Katie**  
  
George: you guys were lucky you came out first. They threw up back stage. It was pretty funny, but later there was an 'ick-factor'.  
  
**Fred and Harry made disgusted faces, but turned back as the Announcer Guy began to talk**  
  
Announcer Guy: Now the six of you will--- Wait! Where the hell are the other two?  
  
**Simultaneously, the remaining contestants pointed at the two dueling wizards**  
  
Announcer Guy: BREAK IT UP!!!  
  
**The announcer grabs the closet boy-which happens to be Ron- and drags him over to his seat next to Hermione by the collar of his robes. Draco also slides into his seat next to Ginny, and wraps his arm around her shoulders**  
  
Announcer Guy: Ok. Now you're gonna sit down and SHUT the bloody hell UP! This is my moment of glory, and I'm not gonna let little pisses glomp it up! Now..like I was saying...The six of you will enter the first round after this commercial break.  
  
**Neville raises his hand tentatively**  
  
Announcer Guy: What is it, Longbottom?  
  
Neville: What do we do in the first round?  
  
Announcer Guy: I'm glad you asked. In the first round contestants will be asked two questions about their relationship with their girlfriend, and they will try to answer as their girlfriend answered. The worst two couples will be voted off.  
  
**Neville looked even more nervous than before**  
  
Announcer Guy: Hey Lisa---how 'bout dinner after you finish with your make- up artist gig? Yeah how 'bout----oh! We're still on the air. But not for long because that's all the time we have right now, and we'll see you after these words from our sponsors.  
  
  
  
~****~****~****~****~****~****~  
  
Please R&R!!  
  
Kitty Malfoy (^ ^) 


	2. ROUND #1....almost (Girls: 1, Annoucer G...

ROUND #1…..almost  
  
Announcer Guy: Hello and welcome back to 'Do You Know Your Girlfriend? '. Before our commercial break we finished introducing our couples. To recap; those lovely couples are: Harry Potter and Cho Chang, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, Angelina Johnson and Fred Weasley, George Weasley and Katie Bell, Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley, and Neville Longbottom and Lavender Brown. Now-  
  
Angelina: Hey! You are totally discriminating against the girls on this show! Why isn't it called 'Do You Know Your Significant other?' Huh, huh?  
  
Announcer Guy: Umm….I-  
  
Angelina: And! That's right, I'm not finished. Just now when you introduced the couples the men were said first! I demand to speak to your boss!  
  
Katie: That's right! And you yourself are a man! Why don't we have a girl host/announcer person? Huh, huh? I am a dis-satisfied contestant and you'd better deal with it!  
  
Announcer Guy: But Angelina was said before Fred…  
  
**Cho jumps up as well**  
  
Cho: That may be mister macho man, but it's still 1 to 5, and the girls' side isn't up to par. We want better representation!  
  
Announcer Guy: **jokingly**Do you want me to go back and read the names, girl first?  
  
Angelina, Katie, & Cho: YES!!!  
  
Announcer Guy: Ok, ok! **in a super fast voice** Chochangharrypotterhermionegrangerronweasleyangelinajohnsonfredweasleykatieb ellgeorgeweasleyginnyweaslydracomalfoy-AND- Lavenderbrownandnevillelongbottom!  
  
**The girls sit back down satisfied**  
  
Announcer Guy: Can I continue with the show now?  
  
Angelina, Katie, & Cho: By all means….  
  
Announcer Guy: Now. We'll start with Cho and Harry, and finish with Ginny and Draco--  
  
**Draco jumps up**  
  
Draco: What?! I'm last! It's 'cuz I'm Slytherin ain't it?  
  
**Everyone stares at him blankly until Ron replies back:**  
  
Ron: Oh sit down ya greasy git, you ain't some black gangster!  
  
Hermione: Besides, you're last because you're the worst boyfriend here!  
  
Draco: Oh bloody hell! I'm surrounded by goody-goody Gryffindors. Makes me puke!  
  
** Cho stands up outraged**  
  
Cho: I'M A RAVENCLAW!  
  
**Draco smirks**  
  
Draco: Sorry, didn't mean to forget about you Tokyo girl!  
  
**Cho stands up, but Hermione beats her to the punch**  
  
Hermione: You do know that China and Japan are two different countries?  
  
Draco: What does it matter? It's all the same with all that kung fu, wang chun, tai pai chicken shit!  
  
Announcer Guy: Hey! Let's try and keep it PG!  
  
**Draco whips out his wand**  
  
Draco: Quietus! You do know I got a wand, bitch?  
  
**George pushes him backwards, and he falls onto the floor**  
  
George: What could you possibly do to us?  
  
Draco: Fuck you!  
  
Fred: Have to find your dick first!  
  
**Ginny claps a hand over her mouth to keep from laughing, while Harry and Katie are in tears, and Cho and George are rolling on the floor with laughter. Neville is red, but Lavender is snickering a bit**  
  
Announcer Guy: Can't you guys just shut up for one frelling minute?!  
  
Angelina: There it is again! Total discrimination!  
  
Hermione: Who the hell made it so that even when you're talking to females you say 'guys'.  
  
Katie: That person should be dragged outside and shot!  
  
**Cho tugs on Katie's sleeve**  
  
Cho: Actually, that saying is so old, whoever made it up is probably already dead.  
  
**Katie scowls and flops back down into her seat**  
  
Katie: I hope it was slow and painful….  
  
**George and Angelina are really freaked out and slide their chairs away from Katie**  
  
Announcer Guy: I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS, ANYMORE! I'm going to my trailer! Somebody else can deal with these people, because I can't handle it anymore!  
  
**Anouncer Guy storms off the set**  
  
Ginny: Finally! I thought he'd never leave!  
  
Lavender: Good going guys-I mean girls.  
  
??? & ???: Hey everyone! We're the replacement hosts!  
  
All: Oliver, Alicia! Why are you guys hosting?  
  
Oliver: Well since you ran off the last host on international television, he needed something to boost the ratings.  
  
All: Ahh!  
  
**Alicia turns to the camera**  
  
Alicia: Hello. I'm Alicia Spinnet and this is my co-host Oliver Wood coming at you from downtown London. There's more British fun right after these commercials, so stick around.  
  
~***~***~***~***~  
  
Good? Bad? Do I need major writing classes! R & R!!  
  
(^ ^)  
  
Kitty Malfoy  
  
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Don't worry about my name. I want the twins to win just as much as every body else! Lol. 


	3. ROUND #1......the first half (George and...

1 ROUND #1  
  
Oliver: 'Lo again, and welcome back to Round 1 of 'Do You Know Your Girlfriend?'.  
  
Alicia: Before the show we asked the girls two different questions each. We also have their answers on tape. After we ask the boys the same questions we will view the girls answers.  
  
Oliver: Our first couple is Cho Chang and Harry Potter. Are you ready, Harry?  
  
Harry: Yes.  
  
Oliver: Ok. The first question we asked Cho was: 'Would you rather lose-an arm, a leg, or an eye?'.  
  
Harry: Umm…I'd have to go with 'a leg'.  
  
Alicia: Let's see what Cho said.  
  
**The three turn to a wall screen as Cho's face appears on the screen.**  
  
Cho: Well I would definitely not want to lose an arm-I'm a Seeker, you know. And it would be horrible to lose part of my eyesight, so I'd have to say a leg.  
  
**Harry pumps his fist in the air**  
  
Harry: YEAH!!  
  
Alicia: Good job, Harry. Next question: 'What is your favorite candy?' Your choices, Harry, are – Bertie Botts' Every Flavor Beans, Pumpkin Pasties, and Chocolate Frogs. How did Cho answer?  
  
Harry: Definitely….Chocolate Frogs.  
  
Alicia: Well let's take a look.  
  
Cho: What's my favorite candy? Well, I love Chocolate Frogs….  
  
Harry: YEAH!!  
  
Cho:….but my favorites are Pumpkin Pasties!  
  
**Harry's eyes bug out**  
  
Oliver: Oh, too bad laddy. You're one 'n one.  
  
**Harry walks dejectedly off the set**  
  
Alicia: Next we have Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. Ron are you ready for the first question?  
  
Ron: Yeah, I guess.  
  
Alicia: Ok. What is Hermione's favorite movie? Is it- Gone With the Wind, America's Sweethearts, or Romancing the Stone?  
  
Ron: Well, whenever she gets depressed at school she apparates home and eats like a whole bag of snickers while watching Gone With the Wind, so that's what I'm thinking. (I read it on someone else's story-can't remember who, sorry)  
  
Oliver: Good logic, let's see if you're right.  
  
Hermione: Oh! Gone With the Wind, without a doubt! Rhett is almost as dreamy as Ron….  
  
**Both Ron and the Hermione on the screen are bright red**  
  
Oliver: You were correct!  
  
Ron: So I noticed….  
  
Alicia: Ok Question #2: Where would Hermione rather spend her time? –with you, shopping, or in the library?  
  
Ron: I wish it were me, but I'd probably have to say 'in the library'.  
  
Hermione: Shopping?! Yuck! I'd much rather be in the library….**grins** and being with Ron at the same time wouldn't be too bad, either.  
  
Oliver: Uh…we'll give that to you, Ron.  
  
Alicia: Congratulations! You've answered every question correctly. Next couple.  
  
Oliver: The next couple is---  
  
**George and Katie come running on stage, and run towards a camera man**  
  
Katie: You're girlfriends coming!  
  
Camera Man 1: OMG! Really?  
  
Katie: REALLY!  
  
George: I think today's the big day buddy. Here. Take this breath mint!  
  
**Hands him a mint**  
  
Camera Man 1: Thanks pal, I owe you one!  
  
** Camera Man 1 runs off the stage**  
  
Oliver: Hey! We're in the middle of a show here!  
  
Katie: Awesome! I get to run the camera!!  
  
**The camera goes swingin' around, and around**  
  
George: Scooch over Kat!  
  
**The camera moves from side to side, and begins to spin around and around**  
  
Katie: Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  
  
Alicia: **whispers to Oliver** I'm getting sick just watching them!  
  
** Camera Man 1 comes running back in. His ears look as if they've been stretched as far as they could go. They were so huge they dragged on the floor. The weight of his ears had caused his face to sag, and it looked as if he was a pug dug with all his rolls**  
  
Camera Man 1: WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?  
  
Oliver: GEORGE!  
  
George: I just gave him a Dinky Dumbo Dot! Hey Fred! They work just great!  
  
**Fred pokes his head on-stage, and looks at the camera man before exiting again**  
  
Fred: Sweeeeeeeet!  
  
** Camera Man 1 runs at the spinning camera**  
  
Katie: I wouldn't come any closer!  
  
** Camera Man 1 runs right at the camera and it swings around knocking him head over heels, and sends him flying off the set**  
  
George: ….too late!  
  
**Alicia buries her head in her hands, and Oliver rests his chin in his hand-both are shaking there heads in disappointment**  
  
Alicia:….oh….my…..god….  
  
Oliver: Uh-oh. Here comes the producer.  
  
Producer: GET OFF MY SET! I DON'T WANT TO SEE EITHER OF YOU EVER AGAIN! GET OUTSIDE, NOW!  
  
**Katie hops off the camera, and sniffs dejectedly, looking at her feet**  
  
Katie: I guess that's coo'. I mean I don't know you, and you don't me, so I guess…..outsides best. Come on George. We'll just go sit by ourselves outside then…..  
  
George: You outta be ashamed of yourself man! Look it! The poor girls practically in tears. We's was only lookin' for a spot of fun. Ya don't have to be such a spoil-sport!  
  
**George and Katie open the set door to leave, but give one last look back to the audience**  
  
George & Katie: Don't worry! We'll be back!  
  
**The door slams behind them**  
  
Oliver: We'll that was uh……  
  
Alicia:…..interesting. We'll finish the rest of Round 1 after this commercial break.  
  
Oliver: Ya know. With all these interruptions we'll probably have to go for another half-hour….  
  
**Alicia clasps her hands, and kneels on the floor-looking upwards**  
  
Alicia: Merlin, give me strength…..give me strength….  
  
Oliver: Stick around folks!  
  
  
  
~*****~*****~*****~*****~*****~*****~  
  
PLEASE R & R!  
  
(^ ^)  
  
Kitty Malfoy 


End file.
